Dear Santa(as you see,I've refrained from addressing you as "that fat communist bastard" this year),
I haven't written one of these to you since Leo Sayer felt like dancing,and even then you totally ignored my pleas to keep Marine Boy and Ultraman on the air,though I admit transforming me into Spiderman might have been outside your jurisdiction,I was still bummed out over you never making it happen.I'm willing to let bygones be bygones this year,and putting our political differences aside,I find myself once again calling upon your holiday magic.I know I put on airs of superiority in both my writing and in real life,but I assure you that this is only for entertainment purposes.If I get chuckle out of a few people with my routines,then I feel like I've accomplished something.
It's well documented that you monitor all peoples' behaviour,and though this rings Orwellian to me,I've accepted it.You must realize then,that I've struggled to become a better person,in thought and in deed,and though my improvement hasn't cemented any positive results in my personal life,Christmas is allegedly the litmus test one can go by.I'm not here to beg for material goods,as this past year has taught me just how much none of these things really matter in the grand scheme of things.Granted,I feel a little selfish asking for SOMETHING,but in the spirit of the season,I think maybe you can spot me this one request.
It's been about two years since I've seen my children.Not a day goes by that I don't think about the three of them and how they're doing,and frankly,I can't even begin to express in mere words how terribly I miss them.If I pick up a picture of them,that's all it takes to break me up.I realize they've probably got fruitful lives where they are,in a better situation than I can offer them at this point,and I'm happy they've gotten this chance,albeit without me.Asking to see or talk to them is probably out of your busy hands this time of year,which is understandable,but my request is that they have the best Christmas they've ever had this time around,courtesy of you.And maybe,in the midst of all the wrapping paper,toys,and stocking stuffers,the eggnog,carols,and snowmen,they think about me for a minute,wherever they are,and know in their hearts how much I really do love them,even if I can't be there for them right now.Please grant me this one wish,and restore my faith in the most wonderful time of the year.
Sincerely,
Stefano
